The Lie That Assistants Operate ‘Behind the Scenes’ – How to Take Your Seat at the Table

For years, assistants have been fed a lie: that they are merely behind-the-scenes workers, invisible cogs in the machine, quietly keeping everything moving while the “real” decision-makers handle the important stuff.

What a load of bullsh*t.

If you’re a high-performing Executive or Personal Assistant, you’re not just supporting the strategy, you’re influencing it. You’re not just executing tasks, you’re shaping the environment in which those tasks exist. And you’re not just “helping”, you’re ensuring that leaders can actually lead.

So, let’s break this myth down, piece by piece. And more importantly, let’s talk about how you can reposition yourself within your organisation so you’re recognised for what you truly are: a strategic, high-impact professional who belongs in the room where it happens.

Debunking the ‘Behind the Scenes’ Myth – If You’re ‘Behind the Scenes,’ Then So Is Everyone Else.

Let’s start with some cold, hard facts.

• You sit in executive meetings, absorbing business-critical information before anyone else does.
• You handle confidential communications, often before department heads even know what’s happening.
• You manage schedules and priorities, determining where an executive’s time is best spent.
• You’re the first filter for information, controlling the flow of data to and from leadership.
• You often have direct access to board members, investors, clients, and key stakeholders, people that even some senior executives don’t interact with regularly.

So, if you’re ‘behind the scenes,’ what does that make the CFO who only sees the numbers you help prioritise? The Chief of Staff who manages projects that you schedule and coordinate? The department heads who rely on your ability to create alignment?

The truth is, everyone in an organisation operates ‘behind the scenes’ in some way. You’re just as much on the front lines as the people sitting at the boardroom table. You’re just not always recognised for it. Yet.

Assistants Have a Strong Commercial Case, You Are Not a ‘Luxury’ – If you weren’t essential to business success, you wouldn’t be employed.

Let’s be blunt: companies don’t keep people on the payroll out of kindness. If you’re in a role, it’s because you’re needed. If you weren’t driving value, your position wouldn’t exist. Simple as that.

Yet, assistants are often expected to justify their existence in ways that literally no other role has to.

• No one asks the IT department why they’re necessary.
• No one tells Finance they’re ‘just support’ because they don’t generate direct revenue.
• No one questions HR’s legitimacy because they don’t ‘make’ business decisions.

But assistants? The discrimination is real. You’re constantly underestimated, overlooked, and forced to fight for recognition. And that’s not just offensive—it’s completely unethical.

Why? Because while you’re not C-suite trained or positioned at that level (and that’s the absolute reality), that doesn’t mean you are less than. It doesn’t mean your contributions aren’t valuable. And it doesn’t mean you have to try and convince people you are ‘more than’ an assistant.

Every single role in a business has its place. And the fact that your role is often diminished, dismissed, or devalued, despite its necessity, is one of the most glaring and undiscussed forms of workplace discrimination.

Stop accepting the false narrative that you’re an optional extra. You are a core function of executive operations. Your contributions matter. Your role isn’t a luxury, it’s mission-critical.

How to Reposition Yourself Internally as a High-Impact Assistant

If you’re tired of being seen as or told you are “just support,” it’s time to shift your mindset, communication, and presence. Here’s how:

1. Change Your Own Narrative First

Before anyone else will take you seriously, you need to take yourself seriously. If you introduce yourself as “Hi, I’m just the assistant,” you’re setting the tone for how others will perceive you.

Instead, reframe your role and practice the growth mindset skills to reinvent your profile:

Instead of: “I manage my executive’s schedule.”
Say: “I ensure leadership’s time is spent on the highest-impact initiatives.”

Instead of: “I organise meetings.”
Say: “I facilitate executive alignment and decision-making.”

Instead of: “I handle admin tasks.”
Say: “I optimise operations to remove friction and increase efficiency.”

Language matters. Speak about your role with the weight and importance it deserves.

2. Start Acting Like a High Level Team Member, Not Just a Background Player

Executives don’t take their Chief of Staff or COO for granted because those roles are positioned as critical to leadership success. The truth is, many high-level assistants function just like a senior team member, but they fail to position themselves that way.

Here’s how you start making the shift:

• Anticipate, don’t wait. Don’t ask, “What do you need me to do?” Instead, proactively suggest solutions.
• Ask bigger questions. Instead of just taking notes in meetings, start asking, “What are the top priorities from this discussion?” and track follow-ups.
• Take ownership. If you manage executive projects, structure them like a program manager and position your role in that way – think about timelines, deliverables, accountability.
• Speak in terms of impact. When reporting on your work, don’t just say what you did, explain how it moved the business/objectives forward.

3. Demand a Seat at the Table (And Don’t Be Afraid to Take Up Space)

Too many assistants wait for permission to be included in strategic conversations. Let’s be real, if you wait to be invited to the table, you might be waiting forever.

Here’s the thing: you are already in the room. You’re the one setting up the meetings, managing the agendas, and following up on action items. You don’t need permission to engage you just need to start speaking up.

So, how do you do that in a way that feels natural and not forced?

In meetings?

• Start by asking clarifying questions: “Are we prioritising this over the other project?”
• Offer logistical insights: “If we move this deadline, it might free up more bandwidth for the team.”
• Then, start contributing more big-picture thoughts: “Would it be useful to loop in X department so we get ahead of potential roadblocks?”

These small shifts prove your value in real time. You go from being someone who just listens and takes notes to someone who is seen as part of the discussion.

In one-on-one conversations with your exec?

• Instead of just asking what they need, ask why something is a priority.
• Challenge their thinking (politely but confidently) by saying things like, “Have you considered an alternative approach?”
• Give your perspective based on the patterns you see: “I’ve noticed that every time we do X, it creates a bottleneck, maybe we should try a different approach?”

When making decisions?

• Take full ownership. If you’re in charge of something, own it like a project manager would.
• If someone asks about an area you manage, don’t defer to your exec, answer it yourself.
• Confidence is key: the more you assert yourself, the more others will trust your authority.

In leadership discussions?

• Stop thinking of yourself as just there to take notes. You are absorbing insights before they are formalised, use that to your advantage.
• If something sounds unclear or unrealistic, speak up: “Do we have enough resources to meet that deadline?”
• Recognise that your voice has power, leaders trust assistants who engage, not just those who execute.

The bottom line? Stop playing small. If you position yourself as an active participant, people will start treating you as one.

4. Build Influence Across the Organisation

Power isn’t just about job titles, it’s about who trusts you, who listens to you, and who relies on your insights.

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to be on the executive team to have influence. You just need strong relationships across the business.

Think about it – who do people turn to when they need access to leadership? You.
Who knows what’s actually going on behind closed doors? You.
Who can get things done faster than half the company? You.

So start using that to your advantage.

How to Expand Your Influence:

Develop deeper relationships with key decision-makers.

• Get to know department heads, not just through work, but by having real conversations with them.
• When they need something from leadership, position yourself as the bridge: “I can make sure this gets flagged at the right time.”
• Over time, this will make you indispensable to them, not just your executive.

Be proactive in leadership conversations.

• When projects are discussed, anticipate needs before they arise: “I can loop in the right people and structure this for you.”
• Offer insights from your unique position: “I see how these meetings flow, I think we need a better system to follow up on decisions.”

Make allies in HR, Finance, and Operations.

• These departments often control things like promotions, raises, and resource allocation.
• Having strong relationships here means you can advocate for yourself when the time comes.

Manage up.

• Don’t just wait for recognition, make sure your contributions are known.
• Keep a record of your achievements (not just what you did, but how it added value to the business).
• When performance reviews come up, confidently highlight how your role impacts the bigger picture.

The stronger your network, the harder it is to overlook your value.

Final Thoughts: Own Your Power

The myth that assistants are behind the scenes isn’t just outdated, it’s actively holding you back. And the only way to dismantle it is to stop accepting it.

Your role is not small. Your work is not invisible. Your impact is not ‘support’—it’s essential infrastructure.

If you’ve been waiting for permission to step into your full potential, consider this your wake-up call: No one is going to hand you a leadership position in your own career. You have to claim it.

So, next time someone calls you ‘just an assistant’? Correct them. Loudly. And then show them exactly why they’re wrong.

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